


Kíli

by LettersToShakespear



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: BotFA, Brotherly Love, Gen, I saw a gif on tumblr and this happened, Major character death - Freeform, Not Slash, Sad, This is not a happy thing at all, Way too many feels, You Have Been Warned, but you can read it that way if you want to I guess?, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 06:34:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3239885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LettersToShakespear/pseuds/LettersToShakespear
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili is many things to Fili, but greatest of all is brother.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kíli

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry

* * *

 

Kili is reckless. He is bold, he is fearless, and he doesn’t think before he acts or speaks. He’s hotheaded, has always got himself into loads of trouble, and has dragged Fili right into it with him, actually. But he’s loyal, so unbelievably loyal that it makes Fili ache inside of his chest just to look at those brown eyes.

 

Kili was always in trouble, but Fili was always right behind him. They played in the mines even though they were told no, climbed trees that were too tall and got lost in the woods too many times to count. They cried together, fought together, were yelled at and spanked by Thorin together.

 

When Kili was just a dwarfling, he climbed up onto the countertops looking for cookies even though Fili told him no, that it wasn’t a good idea. And when Kili knocked over all the pots and pans, broke mama’s favorite dishes and spilled all the flour and sugar, fell from the countertop and broke his arm, Fili was there.

 

Thorin came into the kitchen and was absolutely furious, Kili sobbing and a look of wild fear in his brown eyes. Uncle rounds on him and Fili stops him, gets in his way and furiously defends his brother.

 

“It’s my fault! I was on the countertop trying to get the cookies, and Kili was trying to get me to stop. He pulled on my foot and I.. I kicked him away. I lost my balance and everything fell down, I’m sorry!”

 

Fili gets the spanking of his life and all of his toys taken away for an entire month. Uncle makes him practice boring history things with Balin and translate all kinds of terrible runes. He sits at the kitchen table and works away while Kili plays outside with mama, laughing as he chases butterflies in the garden. Fili knows it’s all worth it.

 

Kili is an idiot. He decides it’s a good idea to follow Fili to the forge. He told his little brother that it wasn’t allowed; that he could get hurt and Uncle would be absolutely furious. But Kili follows because that’s what he does, and he wouldn’t be Kili if he weren’t a curious little brat. Fili stops paying attention for maybe a minute, and that minute is long enough for Kili to trip and fall, arm touching red hot metal. The stink of burnt flesh is horrendous, and Kili screams like he’s going to die. His little brother is horribly burnt from wrist to elbow. It won’t heal for weeks and he’ll be stuck not being able to use his bow for much longer.

 

When Uncle finds out, he is, of course, furious. But just as Kili is the fearless one, Fili is the protective one. Because Kili has always taken Thorin’s words harder than Fili, has always felt like there is something that he needs to prove. It’s half of what makes him so reckless. So he plays his part as the older brother, and he protects.

 

“I told Kili he could come with me. I thought I could keep an eye on him and still do my work. I was thoughtless, I thought I could keep him safe.”

 

Thorin makes him practice with Dwalin all night, not letting him stop until his muscles are shrieking, swords falling from his hands and body collapsing on the ground in exhaustion. Uncle carries him home.

 

“It’s your duty as an older brother to protect him, Fili.”

 

“I know. I’ll do better.”

 

Kili tries to behave better after that. He knows that Fili lies for him, takes the brunt of the punishment so that he won’t have to suffer. Part of him hates his blond brother for that; he feels angry that Fili won’t let him suffer the consequences of what he has done because Fili didn’t deserve a second of it.  

 

Kili is lionhearted (but still an idiot). Thorin asked Fili to accompany him and a group of older dwarves on an orc hunt. They’d been harassing the village for weeks now, killing a few then running away. It’s his first real outing, he’s excited and nervous, but when Kili finds out, he’s furious. His little brother wants to go too. He shouts how it isn’t fair, that he’s more than ready, but Thorin refuses to bring him along. Fili comforts him in the night, reassures him that he’s a strong fighter and that he’s good enough, that Thorin just doesn’t want to see him hurt.

 

“But we do everything together, Fee.”

 

“Give it a year or two, and I promise he’ll invite you too.”

 

But Kili doesn’t want to wait a year or two. He follows them out, trails behind them on soft feet with his bow and arrow in hand. His little brother always was the most light-footed heathen. He was quick on his feet, and that coupled with his need to prove himself was the perfect mixture to get him to decide to follow them.

 

They find the orcs, and Fili fights, cuts at limbs and watches the light leave the monsters eyes. He’s taking life, and he feels sick and scared and high all at once. But Kili is at the edge of the forest, is frozen in place and Fili can see the orc that’s coming up behind him, almost in slow motion.

 

Fili runs, pushes his brother and feels white-hot heat in his side. He doesn’t scream, just feels the air punched out of his lungs, eyes bursting with black spots and fingers of agony tearing through his body.

 

There’s screaming and yelling, and he can feel the warmth slipping from his insides, feels cold air hit his skin and jolts of pain coursing when hands touch his side. Everything is a mess inside of his skull, full of too many voices.

 

“I’m so sorry Fee, I’m so sorry-“

 

“He’s losing too much blood Thorin.”

“I told you to stay home Kili! I expressly forbade you from coming and look whats happened!”

 

“Get him home-“

 

“Might not make it-“

 

 

Fili gets better, and Kili is punished thoroughly. He’s not allowed to hunt, to touch his bow, to go outside or go to the market. Uncle discontinues his weapons training ‘for the foreseeable future’ and he spends all of his time inside working on his khuzdul with Balin or doing chores for mama. Sometimes his little brother sneaks into his room at night, slips under Fili’s blankets and puts his head over Fili’s heart to make sure its still beating. He’ll run his fingers through his brother’s hair until he falls asleep.

 

He regains his strength and he continues his weapon training, works at the forge and goes hunting. Kili watches it all with sad eyes, but he more than anyone seems to think he deserves his punishment for what happened to Fili. But all the blond sees is his brother in pain.

 

“Thorin, you’ve had him doing nothing for six months now, can’t you at least let him go hunting again? You can’t deny that the extra food would be nice,” Fili pleads.

 

“He almost got you killed, almost got himself killed, Fili. This is serious, this is-“

 

“You’re breaking him! He’s not Kili if he’s not smiling or laughing, and he hasn’t done that in months! I’m the one who was hurt, and I forgive him. He’s learned his lesson, he’s not going to do it again!”

 

His little brother is allowed to resume his weapons training the next day.

 

Kili is a scheming little urchin. He hides behind doors and jumps out at Fili, scaring the living daylights out of him. Sometimes he sneaks into Fili’s room, makes sure that he’s asleep before he pounces on top of him and starts to tickle. Other times, he hides under the bed and grabs at his feet. Kili stopped doing that one when Fili placed a well-aimed kick that caught him in the side, leaving his ribs purpled and blue.

Fili gets his revenge, though, when he comes up behind Kili and shouts his ear, making him screech like a lass. When his little brother is trying to work on his runes, Fili will tackle him to the floor and tickle him until there are tears streaming from his eyes and his laugh fills the whole house.

 

Kili is adamant. When Thorin asks Fili to join the quest to Erebor, Kili demands to come along as well. Thorin, of course, is just as adamant that his youngest nephew stays, that he’s too young, that going on patrols and fighting little packs of orcs isn’t even a tenth of how dangerous the quest will be.

 

But Fili refuses to go if Kili isn’t coming with him. It takes hours upon hours for the two to convince Thorin to let Kili come. Thorin makes Kili promise that if he or Fili is to give him a direction, he will follow it to a t, and that if he endangers anyone, he will send his little brother straight home.

 

Kili is the most important person in his life. The mountains crack and their hands reach for one another, not understanding what it truly means to be physically parted from one another. It’s raining and he can’t see, but he yells for his brother and he feels wide-eyed and numb when they are no longer in reaching distance of one another. He holds on for dear life, and when they crash down upon the ledge and the others round the corner, his first thought is of his brother. He only feels like he can breathe again once Kili is holding him tight.

 

“Fili don’t you- don’t you _ever_ do that to me again you stupid-“

 

“It’s okay, Kee. I’m here.”

 

They lay down to sleep and the floor cracks open, nasty little goblin hands grabbing at their clothes and carrying them along. He thinks that this is going to be the end of their quest, that his brother is going to die and he’ll lose him forever. But Gandalf appears, and they run, but then there’s orcs and fire, trees falling and Kili is desperately trying to hold him self up but then the eagles are there.

 

Kili is brave. He watches his little brother climb up rocky stairs to pull on a lever, sees the arrow pierce his leg and he’s hit with waves of horror and fear, terrified that he is about to watch his brother die. But he opens the gate, jumps in the barrel, and Fili is paddling towards him desperately.

 

It all becomes a messy blur of rapids and water, barely missed arrows and the fear that maybe they’ve come this far just to drown to death. But they make it out alive. Kili is sick and hurt, he can see it in his brothers pale face and the way he hobbles around. He wants nothing more than to take care of his brother, but there’s no time, they have to get away before more orcs show up.

 

Fili does his best to care for his brother in the boat. Things turn into a rush again. They are smuggled into Laketown, searching for weapons and Kili is falling, and Fili tries his best to get to him but the men get there first. He helps his brother walk to the Masters house, taking most of his weight. He’s even paler than before.

 

The next day Thorin is leaving, Kili is sick and he’s losing hope because what can possibly cure this poison?

 

Kili is a fighter. The elf heals his brother and he gets better, they run from the burning town and watch the dragon die. They make it to Erebor, the halls of their fathers, and this is the moment they have been waiting for. Fili watches his uncle, sees the sickness in his eyes and the anger that festers within him. His nephews, his family, no longer mean a thing to him.

 

But Thorin gets better, maybe because he’d found himself or maybe because Kili roars with anger, demanding that they fight their own battles. He watches his little brother with pride and a bit of sadness. His has grown up so much during this quest.

 

Soon enough they are joining the battle, swords clashing and bodies moving. Sweat pours off down his skin as he tries to watch out for his brother and his uncle, adrenaline pumping through his veins. He can feel the hot slickness of orc blood seeping into his armor.

 

It’s a mess of fighting and searching, climbing onto the backs of mountain goats and searching for Azog. Fili leads Kili and together they enter the tunnels and tower, searching ever so quietly. He tells his brother to stay, to be safe.

 

Kili is family. His brother has been the most important thing in his life for so very long, he can barely stand to remember the time without him. His little brother is his best friend, his comrade and his soul mate.

 

He makes Kili stay, and he battles for as long as he can before his swords are taken away. He’s hauled up so very high, higher off the ground than any dwarf should be. Azog is holding him and he feels fear, so much so that he’s almost numb. Thorin, Dwalin, and Bilbo are below, ever so small and staring at him with a range of shocked and confused faces.

 

Azog shouts his guttural words, their sounds biting into his eardrums. His only consolation is that Kili isn’t there to meet his gaze.

 

“Run!”

 

He feels the motion before he feels anything, the pull of muscle and the clench of a hand on his body. Cool metal bites into through his back, lips parting and eyes going wide, numbness slipping through his body. And all he can think of is Kili.

 

* * *

 

Kili is numb. His brother lies before him in a broken heap, limbs all wrong and blue eyes empty. _Fili_. His entire world is dead before him, and he doesn’t know how to breathe. Stomach rolls and his mind screams out, breath gasping from lungs and agony slipping through his veins. Fili is everything, is the sun and the moon. Kili has never existed in a world without Fili, has never lived without the warmth of his affection and the fierce fury of his protection.

 

Kili is stubborn, he is reckless, and more than anything, Kili is loyal to a fault when it comes to Fili. Wherever his brother goes, he will always follow.

* * *

 

Sorry sorry sorry


End file.
